"You don't want to end up old and alone like Zoidberg"
I still need to continue my surgery saga, but for now a post that swelled up in a moment of loneliness.
I don't want to seem as though I'm not happy here, or that I don't have awesome friends here (I really do, shout out to my mom group friends-you are the best) but being an ex-pat isn't always sunshine. It can be very lonely, even when one has made new friends. I still am connected with my friends from back home on social media. In some ways it is a huge blessing, I can share photos of my family and what I'm doing, and keep in touch; but in other ways it can very much remind you of what you are missing.
Truth is, I'm tired of feeling forgotten.
I'm sure it happens to everyone-when you find out all your friends went out to do something and somehow you weren't invited. Now imagine never being invited. I'm not trying to sound dramatic, but it is true. It's seeing my friends getting engaged and never receiving an invite to the wedding because...after all, they know I won't be able to come. It's missing a gender reveal, and even worse, knowing you might not see the new baby until it's many months old.
I try to remember to reach out to people individually, I send occasional letters, postcards, or gifts to family and friends. It can be sad to not receive invitations, Christmas, and Birthday cards (other than from my parents, in-laws, and lovely Godmother). I understand the problem is twofold. One is the sort of general out of sight out of mind, and another nearly opposite but equally damaging problem is the sense of connectedness that we receive from Social Media. We know what's going on
We saw your new job-Congratulations!
Pregnant-wow, a new baby lovely!
You love coffee-Me too!
This is not an indictment of Social Media, I love being able to connect in that way, but the truth is it is generally a shallow connection. It's not the same as a letter, a care package, a phone call, or even a text.
As much as I love living here, and love my new tribe of friends, I wish I could still have the same relationship with my friends at home.
So do me a favor, reach out to a friend who has moved away (it doesn't have to be me) give them call, send a postcard, send a text saying "I see you, I think of you, I miss you, I still love you."
